International
Chess News

December 28, 2005

Regular January tournament will be held as usual - January tourney to parallel Club Championship

In parallel with our 5-player round robin Club Championship tournament, a regular 4-round club monthly Swiss will be held as usual. Because of the absence of the 5 players playing in the championship, this tourney will not count toward the 2006 championship qualification or toward the club standings. Those will start with the February tourney.

The championship will be played on all 5 Tuesdays of January. The regular club tourney will be played on the first 4 Tuesdays, with the 5th Tuesday reserved for skittles in the lobby and/or watching the last round of the club championship in the main room.

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Happy New Year - 2005 exciting year for club - may everyone's ratings go up 200 points in 2006

The year 2005 was a good year for our club. Several milestones occurred during the year:

• The time for a member to get his rating results after the close of a monthly tournament was accelerated from months to days;
  
  
• A system of club standings that promote competition and honors both club participation and chess performance was instituted;
  
  
• A club championship cycle that honors the active club member who performs at the highest level throughout the year was implemented;
  
  
• Four players improved markedly over the year, increasing their ratings by 100 points or more
  
  
• The website was refurbished and hopefully is now a better tool for communicating to the members and for sharing our games with each other;
  
  
• We've picked up several new members during the year, particularly newcomers to chess.
  
  
• Thanks to Roger Kromphardt, the Bettendorf Family Museum will be holding chess sessions open to all on Saturday afternoons, which will be a potential source for even more new members;
  
  
• We've had our first ever training session for chess newcomers conducted by USCF Master Mark Willey.
  

Hopefully, these changes have made our club a more interesting place to come and play competitive chess.

Finally, as webmaster, I'd like to thank everyone that I've made fun of on these pages since taking over the website, especially the most abused but nonetheless deserving victim, John Imgrund. These people have been great sports about it, as not one of them has ever complained to me. This is because they either have a great sense of humor or know that complaining would only make it worse.

But they shouldn't think that things will be any different in 2006.

The Tribal Council, Club Elders, Club Officers, or whatever you'd like to call them, wish all of you a very Happy New Year and hope that 2006 brings nothing but rating increases.

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Review of Club Winners of 2005 - seven players win at least one monthly tourney in 2005

Seven players excelled this year by winning at least one monthly tourney. They are:

• James Francescon - January
• Mark Flowers - January, September
• John Beydler - February
• Jack Dunbar - March
• Luis Peralta - April, August, October
• John Imgrund - May, July, September, October, November, December
• Steve Killian - June, November

Congratulations to all these players on their fine performances throughout the year.

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December 21, 2005

Meet the most improved players of 2005 - 4 players gain over 100 points

The year 2005 saw four Illowa players gain considerable strength over the year. I reviewed ratings as of Dec. 31, 2004 and compared them with current ratings as of Dec. 21, 2005. Monthly tournament wins, incredible winning streaks, and just plain solid performance rewarded the following Illowa players with significant gains:

• Jack Dunbar won the March tourney with a perfect score of 4-0. His rating shot up, and although it slipped somewhat over the rest of the year, he still ended up with a handsome increase of 121 points. Jack started the year at the bottom of Class C and is now at the top of Class C.
  
  
• Luis Peralta won no less than three monthly tourneys for the year, and his rating increase reflects that. He gained 164 points for the year, moving from the bottom of Class B to the top of Class B.
  
  
• Mark Flowers won two monthly tourneys this year, and is the proud owner of the hottest winning streak in the club for the year. Mark went undefeated an incredible 7 consecutive games, winning 6 of them. His rating responded and he finished the year with an increase of 171 points. Mark started the year in Class C and finished a Class B player.
  
  
• Finally, the Most Improved Player of 2005 did not win one single monthly tourney, although he played in every one that we've had. But in addition to the 11 monthlies he's played in, he also played in 13 more tournaments in Illinois and Iowa during the year. His rock solid performance and stubborn determination to improve at chess drove him to increase his rating 207 points for the year. He started in Class C and finished a Class B player.

So the Illowa Chess Club's Most Improved Player of 2005 is Roman Bonzon.

Congratulations to all these players for their fine performance throughout the year.

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1st Round Pairings for Club Championship to be posted next week - tourney will get underway on Jan 3

Pairings for Round 1 of the 2005 Illowa Chess Club Championship will be posted next week. The tourney will run all 5 Tuesdays in January.

In parallel with this 5-player round robin tournament, a regular 4-round club monthly Swiss will be held as usual. Because of the absence of the 5 players playing in the championship, this tourney will not count toward the 2006 championship or toward the club standings. The 2006 championship cycle and club standings will start with the February tourney.

All Illowa members are invited to come on any Tuesday in January and watch the Club Championship that will be in progress. After Round 5 on January 31, a trophy will be presented to the 2005 Illowa Club Champion.

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December 14, 2005

Candidates for 2005 Club Championship Determined - Round 2 results clinch positions for Imgrund, Bonzo

According to my unofficial calculations using the December results as of Round 2, we now know the 5 candidates who will be playing for the Club Championship in January.

They are: John Beydler, Luis Peralta, Mark Flowers, John Imgrund, and Roman Bonzon.

Congratulations, gentlemen, and may the best chess player win.

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Bonzo excels at Illinois Class Championships - plays two classes up, ties for 4-5

Roman Bonzon had an outstanding tournament when he played in the Illinois Class Championships in Joliet, IL. last weekend. Roman was planning to play up a class and be in the Class B section. But due to the tournament drawing less players than anticipated, the Class A and Class B sections of the tourney were combined.

But that didn't phase Roman one bit. He still had a solid performance of only one loss and a draw to finish the 4 round tourney with a score of 2.5 points. This fine score earned him a tie for 4-5th places in a field of 12, half of whom were Class A players.

Congrats, Roman!

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Latest polls show Imgrund's approval ratings worse than Bush's – 98% of Illowa members “strongly disapprove” of Imgrund’s 2005 performance

In a recent poll reaching 100% of Illowa Chess Club members, 98% of club members said they “strongly disapproved” of “Crossword John” Imgrund’s performance during 2005, with one member describing Imgrund as “the slimiest sort of chess scum imaginable, who will stoop to any level to win a clearly drawn endgame on time by blitzing his opponent who had 1 second left on his clock and he had 15 minutes on his.”

But the results weren't entirely negative for Imgrund, as one member described him as “brilliant and inspiring” and “strongly approved” of his 2005 performance. This was enough to give him a 2% approval rating, compared with George Bush’s 42%.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan told the press today that when President Bush was informed of the latest results, he was “heartened to find out he could be doing considerably worse than he is.”

When reached for comment, Imgrund said he was “elated” by the results.

“I want another MHP award this year,” he said, “and this will only help me get it. And I don’t have to go all over the country giving speeches to try to get my ratings up, or down, or whatever.”

The coveted MHP (Most Hated Player) award is an annual award given to a deserving club member who is selected by a vote of his peers. This year’s voting will take place following the Club Championship in January.

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December 7, 2005

Volunteers Wanted - - Roger K. convinces Bettendorf Family Museum to sponsor skittles chess on Saturdays

Roger Kromphardt has arranged with the Bettendorf Family Museum to sponsor skittles chess for the general public on a regular basis. It will start in January and extend through April, 2006. It will be held every Saturday afternoon from 1:00 PM to 2:30 PM. The Museum is even purchasing 12 chess sets to provide for the players.

We would like to have a Club presence at these events to help recruit new high-school and older players for our club. So we are looking for volunteers who would be willing to attend occasionally and tell people about the club.

I am going to make up some flyers and business cards as handouts for people who might be interested. But it would be very low-key. All you would really have to do is play chess and tell people about the club while you're doing it. It would be kind of like being a scout for a baseball team, i.e. keep your eyes out for promising members and tell them about us.

Please contact me if you are willing to do this and tell me how frequently you would be willing to go. It's your call, you could go as frequently or infrequently as you wish.

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Changes in 2006 Championship considered - several ideas in play

Here is a current list of some of the issues that the Tribal Council has been batting about lately in thinking about our upcoming 2006 Championship cycle and club operations in general:

• whether 1/2 point byes should count toward standings
• whether there should be a limit on 1/2 point byes for a single tournament (e.g., no more than 1 per monthly tourney)
• whether to have a Reserve Championship (under 1400 only) running in parallel with the Club Championship

Your comments on these and any additional suggestions are welcome. Please contact me with them and the Club Elders will consider them.

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Last monthly tourney of year begins - Imgrund to lead club in singing Auld Ange Syne after Round 4

The last monthly tournament of 2005 has started, drawing a field of 10 players. This will be the final tournament that determines the 5 candidates who will compete for the honor of being the Illowa Club Champion of 2005. This last tournament will bring 2005 to a close for the Illowa Chess Club.

And in a blatant last-minute attempt to win the Club's coveted Most Hated Player of the Year award, John Imgrund has threatened to lead the club in singing Auld Ange Syne at the close of Round 4, which will no doubt cause many players to hurry through their games and leave early.

"I'll bet they won't be able to resign fast enough," Imgrund beamed when disclosing his intentions.

Whether this strategy will be effective is unclear at this time, but most club members believe that it doesn't need to be, as Imgrund usually has a lock on this award anyway.

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November 30, 2005

Tortoise Catches Hare - Killian wins Round 4 while Imgrund loafs - pair share Nov. bragging rights

While John Imgrund was no doubt sipping champaign in his smoking jacket at his Clinton estate, Illowa's beloved webmaster struggled to win the full point against an absolutely determined Sid Machalek in a game not decided until reduced to a King and pawn ending.

Like the fable of the tortoise and the hare, Imgrund's recreational pause in Round 4 allowed Killian to close the gap and tie with him as winner of the November race. Word around the club was that without the bye, Imgrund would have played and lost to Killian, but we'll never know, will we?

There is now one last monthly tourney to decide the 5 players who will vie for the distinction of being the 2005 Illowa Club Champion.

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November 16, 2005

CHESS SCANDAL – GM Nigel Short admits doctor suggested testosterone injections during his ’93 match with Kasparov! – Illowa Club Elders impose mandatory drug testing every Tuesday night except Skittles Nights

In a shocking public admission to the chess world in his Round 4 report from the recent World Championship tournament in San Luis, Argentina, British Grand Master Nigel Short admitted that his doctor suggested that he take testosterone injections during his 1993 World Championship match against Gary Kasparov. Short confessed that his doctor had advised him that he needed "to be more aggressive.”

In a swift reaction to the rapidly developing scandal, known as "Testostergate", the Illowa Chess Club’s Tribal Council met in emergency session and has imposed, effective immediately, mandatory drug testing on all Illowa members before beginning their weekly Tuesday night tournament games. Testing will be voluntary on Skittles Nights.

In a press release to the Quad City Times, Illowa Chief Elder Steve Killian stated:

“The Tribal Council feels certain that some Illowa players are getting testosterone injections. This year there have been several players in the club who have experienced sudden large rating increases. We feel that this is certain proof of testosterone injections, as there is no other logical explanation for the increase in their ratings.”

When asked who was suspected, Killian replied, “Anyone whose rating has suddenly increased more than 100 points and whose voice has dropped 2 octaves.”

But some members have spoken out on the highly controversial issue.

“Yes, I’ve taken those injections,” one anonymous member confided. “Before, I never had the guts to try a King side pawn storm,” he whispered. “But now,” Bonzon continued, “it’s noooo problemo, baby.”

But another suspected member categorically denied any wrongdoing. Jack Dunbar, a senior club member who once played Paul Morphy, said, “I can’t speak for anyone else, but in my case I think people are just confusing testosterone with Viagra.”

In an interview with Dr. Mark Capron, the highly respected Barry Bonds Professor of Sports Medicine at the University of Iowa and author of the best-selling book, “Steroid Use Among Chess Players and its Impact on Opening Theory, 1847 – 1950,” Dr. Capron acknowledged the efficacy of testosterone injections for chess players.

“It’s no secret that chess players are not exactly the most aggressive people on the planet,” he said. “So it’s not surprising that testosterone injections can turn mild mannered, well behaved chess players into raving attack dogs,” he pointed out.

“This has been confirmed by testing we’ve done here at the Ben Johnson Laboratory for Sports Medicine. Compared against a control group of normal, testosterone-free chess players, the testosterone-laced players made 30% more Queen sacrifices, assaulted 80% more opponents after losing a game, and picked up 2,550% more women.”

“Female chess players,” he continued, “made 35% more Queen sacrifices, assaulted 92% more opponents, and picked up 3,775% more women.”

“So you see,” Dr. Capron continued, “testosterone has the capability to improve many aspects of a chess player’s life, if you can call it that.”

But the benefits notwithstanding, testosterone injections are still considered unethical in competitive chess. As one Illowa player put it, “Hey, if you have to inject the guts to play chess, you’ve got other problems.”

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November 9, 2005

Machalek steps forward - defeats Mital to challenge Imgrund the Fierce - Imgrund Laundry Excuse not expected until Round 4

Sid Machalek is the next player to step forward and challenge the universally disliked John Imgrund in this month's tournament. With the surprising absence of Flowers and Peralta as the expected challengers, the brave Machalek achieved this unenviable position by defeating Joe Mital in Round 2.

It has been rumored that Imgrund will NOT use his monthly laundry excuse in Round 3 to avoid the match-up with Machalek, but will reserve it for the all-important Round 4, as he did last month. This makes it all the more important that Machalek defeat him in Round 3. The tourney and the fate of our humble little club lie in the balance.

Sid, I speak for the entire club when I say that our thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck.

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An Open Letter from John Imgrund - club bully whines about so-called "verbal tirades" by fair and balanced webmaster

Last week I received an e-mail from John Imgrund. It contained a number of grievances against me. The one that hurt me the most was the claim that I consistently disparage him every chance I get.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Club members know that the club news I report here is as fair and balanced as a Michael Moore documentary. Like Mr. Moore, I just call it the way I want to see it.

And to demonstrate that fairness, I will post here an unedited copy of his letter without further comment from me. I will leave the decision about the truthfulness of his charges to our fair and balanced club members, who have been beaten mercilessly by this man for year after year after discouraging year.

I am writing in response to the barrage of disparaging remarks about my humble self on the club website. It is inherently unfair that I, a creator of astounding sacrifices, unheard of tactical miscalculations, stunning defeats by time, should be singled out for the disingenuous verbal tirades by the web master.

My family has a deep love of chess going back generations. It hearkens back to a time when a knight move consisted of jumping pieces but only in a straight line. It took the strong will and persistence of my great, great, great grandfather Heinrich Imgrund to use that L shape that is now the standard today.

He was in a grudge match against a fellow named Guttenberg when he first used that unique move. Yes, he was three sheets to the wind and nothing for him moved in a straight line but with his stubbornness and the lack of any rule book handy to dispute him, he beat Guttenberg and revolutionized the chess world. His opponent was so devastated that he gave up chess until he could bring a copy of the rules with him next time - thus, the printing press was invented.

The incrimination that I am doing my laundry if I take a bye is an out and out lie! By not doing laundry I can come to the tournament and use the subconscious “What the hell is that smell?” tactic to confuse my opponent into trying all game to figure it out. When I come in the room and say, “I can smell a win tonight.” I mean it.

As for doing a crossword during play my response is to say “Hah, I fooled you!” Yes, I have a crossword in front of me but because I am so sly you haven’t noticed that it is the same puzzle every game. The whole time I am studying my opponent for weaknesses.

I will use any strategy to win – subliminal messages written on the board, blinking “lose” in Morse code with my eyes, tattooing on my chest variations of the Ruy Lopez only to have it lasered off next week so the Gruenfeld would fit.

No longer will I hide my plans – the gloves are off. I have a secret. All this time I have been playing left handed and actually I am RIGHT HANDED! It is true. Other steps I have taken (on the advice of my Sensei) to ensure my superiority are:

1. No sex before a game - Knowing the habits of my fellow chess players, most of you have had this small advantage for quite a while.
   
2. Speed is the key - currently working out with quadruple weighted pieces to increase strength and reaction time - Every second counts.
   
3. Breathe through my eyelids - All Senseis are required to teach this even they don't know why.
   
4. New mantra –no longer “Be the Pawn”, I have moved up to, “Be the Bishop, BE the Bishop”. A slow, arduous journey but some day I will take my rightful place and Be the Queen that I know is inside me.
   

All I ask is a little respect. I don't need to be hoisted on the club's shoulders like a Jewish bride but the legacy I want to pass on has to be more than Imgrund the Terrible. Years from now they might forget your whimsical pseudonyms. I want to be remembered as a player who repeatedly trounced the hell out of every one but who did it with heart and compassion. Keep in mind - All the world's a chess game, and all the men and women merely players.

-John Imgrund

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November 2, 2005

November Tourney Underway - two upsets start things rolling

Joe Mital and Roman Bonzon started the November tourney off with a bang, delivering two upsets to rising stars Luis Peralta and Mark Flowers. Since Flowers and Peralta were the favorites to challenge Imgrund the Terrible for this month's championship, now it's anyone's guess as to who will step forward to get the monthly beating -- provided, of course, that Imgrund doesn't have to do his laundry at Round 4 again. John, do your laundry on Mondays, OK?

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Killian finishes in $ at Ames - Ties for 2nd with countless others in Under 1900 section, wins $3.49 before taxes

In a solid showing at Ames last weekend, the promising and handsome young Illowa chess star Steve Killian scored 3-2 at the 20th annual Ames Chess Festival, beating Expert Robert Keating in the final round. But he was not rewarded financially, as he tied with a cast of thousands for 2nd place in the section, thereby recovering only 0.67% of his expenses.

If it took the technological breakthrough of a table-top mini-camera to catapult Texas Hold'em into a big-money game where even the little guy can get his share, then I guess it will take an in-brain camera to do the same for chess. I guess we shouldn't hold our breaths.

The tournament was won by USCF Master Pete Karagianis and Expert Tim MacEntee with scores of 4.5-0.5. There were 23 players.

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November tourney schedule - Skittles night on the 22nd instead of 29th

Due to the Thanksgiving holidays, the November tournament will be scheduled a little differently this month. Instead of having skittles night on the 5th Tuesday, we will have it during Thanksgiving week, Nov. 22. This will accommodate any tourney players who may be out of town that week. So tourney nights in November will be: November 1, 8, 15, and 29. Please note this on your schedules.

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Skittles Night to Feature USCF Master Mark Willey - will coach under-1400 players

In response to requests from new members who have requested some kind of instruction or training, USCF Master and frequent Illowa Club visitor Mark Willey has agreed to provide instruction and coaching for any of our new or under-1400 rated players who show up for Skittles Night on Nov. 22. Although this is intended for the under-1400 crowd, anyone is welcome to listen and watch.

We have not decided on exactly what the format will be, but we would like to hear suggestions from the under-1400 players about what they think would be an effective way to do this. Some possible formats would be Question/Answers, lecture, bringing in a score sheet from one of your old games for Mark to analyze and discuss, playing games with Mark while he provides commentary, etc.

Please provide your input as to what you would like to see to the webmaster, and I'll send these on to Mark. We will let you know how it will work before the 22nd.

We're very grateful to Mark for generously donating his time for this. We hope that the night will be helpful to our beginning players.

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October 26, 2005

Peralta, Imgrund Share Win - Luis brings home 3rd monthly victory - Imgrund uses laundry excuse again for last round bye

Luis Peralta's 3.5 score in the October tourney has tied with John Imgrund for the October honors. This gives Luis his 3rd monthly tourney victory of the year. Only Imgrund has won more tourneys (4) this year.

But Imgrund is clearly scared. Although he surely would have played Luis in the final round of the tourney, he once again used his famous "I have to do my laundry" excuse to take a half-point bye instead.

With Imgrund's defeat of the previous challenger, Mark Flowers, in Round 3, club members throughout the country are now looking to Luis to defeat the player who has mercilessly dominated us for years.

With the club championship approaching rapidly, members are wondering, "Can Luis rise to the challenge?" Only time will tell.

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Flowers cruises past 1700 - strong winning streak continues to push rating up

Mark Flowers' rating continues to leap upward. Just a month ago we reported that his rating had jumped through the 1600 level. One tournament later, he pushes through 1700. Will the November tourney bring 1800?

Congratulations to Mark on his outstanding performance and well-deserved rating adjustments.

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Club Championship Approaches - only two more monthly tourneys to go

It's getting close. With only two qualifying tourneys left, the focus is turning to who will be the 5 qualifiers to play in the rapidly approaching 2005 Club Championship to be held in January. Currently the top 5 are: Beydler, Peralta, Flowers, Bonzon, and Imgrund. With only two tourneys left, and assuming that these players all play in the last two tourneys, it does not appear likely that this will change. Stay tuned.

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October 20, 2005

Andre Earns First Win - stubborn newcomer brings down PJ in first tourney victory of career

New member and beginner Andre Wilson was finally rewarded Tuesday night for his perseverance and hard work. We all know how ruthless and cruel the game of chess can be. And we all remember when we were beginners, how tough it was to lose so many games before we finally won our first competitive game in a tournament.

So congratulations from the entire club, Andre. We all were there once, we know how sweet it is.

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Flowers' Streak is Over - Imgrund the Terrible heartlessly dashes hopes and dreams of entire club

John Imgrund, known as "Imgrund the Terrible" by discouraged members for his multi-year domination of this innocent and humble little chess club, put a heartless end to the incredible winning streak of the tremendously popular Mark Flowers last round.

For two consecutive tournaments, Mark's play had given hope to the rest of us. He gave us the hope that one of us, just ordinary players, could somehow rise up and take our club back from this cold-blooded and unforgiving John Imgrund. But our hopes and dreams were destroyed when we all looked up from our games Tuesday night to see Mark humbly shaking hands with the tyrant Imgrund. We knew it was over.

You gave us a great ride, Mark. You inspired us. And perhaps you have exposed a small opening in the dragon's armour. Because the entire club noticed that you forced Imgrund to do something very different: he did not even attempt to solve a single crossword puzzle during the entire course of your game. So we now know that he is afraid. Perhaps there is still a glimmer of hope after all.

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Hotel Staff Recovers Chess Clock from Swimming Pool - no markings found on clock except letters 'RB'

AmericInn maintenance staff discovered a chess clock in one of the pool filters last week while performing routine maintenance. An autopsy revealed a large dent in the case and moderate rusting, indicating that the clock had been violently thrown into the pool about 5 weeks ago. The clock had no markings except the letters ‘RB’. If anyone belongs to this clock, he may pick it up at the front desk.

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New World Champ Willing to Risk Title in Match - Topalov willing to play match against Kramnik, Kasparov, or Flowers

In a surprising and unusual development after earning the FIDE title, Veselin Topalov's manager disclosed that the new champion would be willing to play a match to finally end the confusing rivalry between the "Classical" world champion and the FIDE world champion.

Since the only other contenders would be Kramnik and Kasparov, he is pursuing a match with either. But he also disclosed an interest in playing "that amazing Illowa Chess Club guy", Mark Flowers.

"All the players at the Championship were avidly following his games during our tournament. I was impressed, and would be very interested in a match." More on this story...

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October 13, 2005

Higher Rated Players Put Down Uprising – “law and order restored,” Killian claims

The surprising revolt of the lower rated players last week was stopped in its tracks this week in Round 2. Last week the rebellious lower rated players massacred three of four higher rated players in an unprecedented sweep of Round 1 upsets. But the rebels were put down in Round 2 when all higher rated players won their games against the ungrateful lower rated players.

In a statement after the games, Tribal Council Chief Elder Steve Killian said, “It is unnatural that a lower rated player should beat a higher rated player. If God had wanted it to be that way, he would have given them higher ratings in the first place.”

“These radical extremists threatened our very way of life,” he went on, “but law and order has now been restored.”

When asked what would be done with the defeated upstarts, Killian said, “Now is not the time for punishment, but for healing. We must remember that there wouldn’t be higher rated players if there were no lower rated players. We need them to be whole again.”

“Therefore I am declaring an amnesty for the offending players. They are free to go, provided that they promise to refrain from beating higher rated players. If they agree to surrender their will to win, we will restore them to their former positions as esteemed, respected, but lower rated players.”

But whether the victory is permanent or not remains to be seen. As one of the lower rated players left the building, he was overheard whispering to another, “Wait ‘til Round 3!”

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Flowers Rolls On - wins again, now undefeated last 7 games, winning 6 - takes no back seat to Topalov

Mark "Veselin" Flowers continued his imitation of Topalov's incredible winning streak at the start of the World Championship by disposing of opponents as if they were used Kleenex. He is halfway home in pursuit of his second consecutive monthly tourney.

Next round will be pivotal, as he plays the club's most dominating player, "Crossword John" Imgrund for the second straight tournament. This time, however, Flowers swears that he will not let Imgrund trick him into a draw as he did last month.

Once again, the club is rallying around Mark and supporting him in every way possible. Many players are helping him prepare for next week's game. Roman Bonzon, who seems to have an abnormally strong desire to see Imgrund go down, was seen giving Mark tips on how to handle time pressure.

And Steve Killian has also made a bold move for the top. Having achieved 1.5 points without so much as lifting a pawn, he requested two more 1/2 point byes to guarantee finishing with a plus score of 2.5 - 1.5.

But all eyes will be on Flowers in Round 3.

Our monthly tourneys just seem to get more interesting each month.

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TOPALOV FIDE WORLD CHAMPION – clinches championship in Round 13 - exhausted Tiger Woods withdraws after 12 rounds

Veselin Topalov, known as “Toppy the Bulldozer”, has clinched the FIDE World Chess Championship. He is now 1.5 points in the lead with only 1 round remaining, making it virtually impossible for anyone to catch him. See more on this story.

Yesterday's Round 12 games saw the withdrawal of Tiger Woods, who has been trying to pick up his 3 rd major for 2005 by substituting the World Chess Championship for the PGA Championship that he lost in August.

But he hadn’t bargained for an exhausting 14 round tournament. Looking very tired at yesterday ’s Round 12 match, the world-class golfer actually whiffed his tee shot on 18. Something must have snapped, for he then screamed “Adjust!” and proceeded to wrap his $2000 driver around a nearby oak. As medical personnel evacuated him from the course, he informed the tournament director of his decision to withdraw.

His scores were 65 - 63 - 68 - 70 - 73 – 76 – 80 – 85 – 85 – 87 – 89 – 92 for a score of 933 after 12 rounds of play.

It is well known that Woods and the other competitors did not get along. The chess players looked quite smug as word of his withdrawal spread through the playing hall. But when asked later if Woods’ presence in the tournament was a distraction, Topalov took his final parting shot at the unpopular Woods.

“No, no, he not distraction,” he said with a smirk. “It is just…how you say…par for course?”

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October 5, 2005

Largest club tourney of year begins - 14 players start their engines

The October tourney has begun with a starting field of 14 players, the largest monthly tourney of the year. With only 3 more monthly tourneys left to determine the playing field for the club championship, players seem to be coming out of the woodwork. We should have another very interesting tourney on our hands this month.

The tournament will be played in one section. There will not be a reserve section because many of the under-1400 players don't mind playing the higher rated players and because of concerns about reducing the size of the open section if lower-rated players are drawn off in a separate section.

Round 1 results and round 2 pairings are now posted.

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Flowers unstoppable! - disposes of yet another outranking player - undefeated for last 6 games, winning 5

Mark Flowers has become the Veselin Topalov (see story below) of the Illowa Chess Club. Like Topalov, he is incredibly hot. The only person to stop him in the last 6 games has been the always intimidating "Crossword John" Imgrund, and even he could only manage a draw. Who can stop him?

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Upsets abound in Round 1 - 3 upsets out of 4 games - lower-rated players in open revolt

Bonzon, Flowers, and Dunbar rose up against their oppressors last night and sent them into full retreat. Stunned and confused higher-rated players littered the hotel lobby, while lower-rated players held the playing area and chanted, "We are not second-class chess players! Give us recognition!"

John Beydler said, "It was the bloodiest opening night of a tournament I have ever seen," while frequently looking furtively over his shoulder.

"Watch your back, Steve, watch your back!" he said as he made a break for the parking lot.

The only higher rated player to escape the massacre alive was John Imgrund, who managed to stay above it all like a guru on his mountaintop.

"Be at peace, my children," he said, "I won MY game!"

Whether the rebellion will succeed or the higher-rated players will regroup and mount a counterattack remains to be seen over the next three weeks. It is generally thought that whoever wins over the half-point byes to their side will succeed.

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All monthly tourney results now available - check your total points for the year to ensure club standings correct

The missing January 2005 tournament results have now been posted on the web site. Members in contention for the Club Championship should review all tournament results for the year and check that their point total shown in the club standings is correct. This should be done by October 31 so we can avoid any unexpected, last-minute change to the standings close to the end of the tourneys.

Results may be checked from the pairings page.

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Topalov starts to walk away with World Championship - 5 wins develop incredible 2 point lead after only 6 rounds - 8 more rounds to go - Woods begins to tire

Veselin Topalov is undefeated after 6 rounds with an incredible score of 5.5/6. In an era of boring Grandmaster draws at that level of play, this guy has won an incredible 5 of 6 games. More on this story.

But Tiger Woods, on a mission to win his 3rd major of 2005, is tiring with 8 rounds still to go. His scores to date have been: 65 - 63 - 68 - 70 - 73 - 76 for a total of 415.

But signs of fatigue are beginning to show. At the post-game press conference, he complained "This is ridiculous. On the PGA tour, you play a few rounds over a weekend and then head for the bar until the next weekend tournament. It's a pretty nice life."

As the chess players snickered at him, Woods continued: "But fourteen high-pressure rounds in as many days, this is nuts! And Bruemmer assured me that this would be a piece of cake. What was I thinking?"

A smirking Topalov suggested, "Perhaps this Woods should take a lesson from Kasparov and play golf with Deep Blue! Then maybe he could shoot more of these birdies."

But experts believe he is still in a position to win, although FIDE officials still haven't figured out how to relate a stroke play golf score to a double round-robin chess tournament. PGA and FIDE officials huddled all day Tuesday to come up with an agreement, but fighting broke out when a PGA official commented that chess wasn't really a sport.

When asked if he agreed with that assessment, Woods replied, "No comment."

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